Inside Colin's Head

Let me preface by saying that I am not a parent, nor do I have specific plans in the works to become one. In my drive-by philosophizing that I do frequently, I often come to the basic question: what makes a good person? In the varied scenarios that we come upon in each day of our lives, it can be easy to lose sight of what is important. I feel that having a simple philosophy to live by helps keep things in balance.

Plans are generally good. Being on time for important events is certainly good. Forward thinking is crucial for progress.

But I think our society has gone too far.

Now with the hammer that technology gives us to coordinate much more accurately and intensely, everything's looking like a nail. Time has become an obstacle for us to conquer, an excuse to avoid taking action, and a subtle obsession that keeps us from living in the moment.

I used to wear a watch every day of my life. It seemed absurd not to have one. When I finally cut the cord, I still checked my cell phone clock constantly.

Some of my friends (whom I love dearly and of whom, one is surely giving me the eye of death right now) love to plan parties and events. I'm glad for that and I of course occasionally plan things as well. I certainly understand how planning can be fun. I don't even terribly mind the barrage of coordination emails that ensue. What bothers me is two things. First is that, to some extent, we have the lost the ability to do things without a plan or timeline. There's a tension in the air when people are being hurried for no particular reason — usually for events that have no specific time constraints. The other is that sometimes we spend so much time discussing the plan's minute details that we're unable to enjoy the moment we're in. This promotes the idea of thinking of life as a series of gaps punctuated by excitement, which to me, is a less enjoyable way to live.

I have a new walk. I have to consciously think about it or I'll revert to my old walk. It's a bit slower, has a slightly longer stride, and has more rhythm. It seems to allow deep breathing to occur more naturally and brings a sense of confidence and contentedness to the moment.

The older I get the better I understand how perspective affects the outcome of transpiring events. The simple example is how feeling confident often gives off the impression of wisdom, which leads others to trust your judgment, which in turn creates more scenarios for you to become truly wiser. This thought pattern is really applicable in the realm of happiness, in my opinion. Being optimistic (preferably realistically optimistic) fills your mind more with possibilities than liabilities and the beauty of things is easier to see. The bad stuff will always be there, but no one is forcing you to focus on it.

In "Meet the Parents," Pam tells her kindergarten class to imagine the problem they've been thinking about all week and yell "boo!" to scare it away. This seems childish, but there's real wisdom here. Are brains are wired for logic, imagination, and abstraction. Creating an abstraction in our mind for some specific stressor allows us to deal with that stress virtually, where it is forced to play by our rules. The key is finding an abstraction that works for you.

Similarly to mental abstraction, changing your body movements seems to be another way to exert control over the intangible, hence my new walk. I don't have a specific stressor in mind, my walk just generally leads me to feel more calm, collected, and in control of my direction.

A person is successful if they achieve the thing they set out to accomplish. So, being successful means you must:

• decide to actually do something
• seek paths that lead toward your goal, instead of adjusting your goal to match your path

Without getting yourself hurt, treat it that way.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed. It's easy to imagine a thousand people in the world that possess our exact, unique skills, and are better at all of them than us. It's easy to go to YouTube and assume that every possible kitten video has been filmed and uploaded.

So how do we deal with the threat of feeling so insignificant and out-done?

I think if you do what you do with passion and intensity then no one can ever be exactly like you. As long as you are always seeking improvement, making such meaningless comparisons only serves to pull you away from your vision; the major player in what makes your art unique.

It seems foolish not to critically evaluate yourself through the inspiration of others, but I don't think you need to be anything like those people. And if your deeds happen to resemble theirs, as long as you came about them in your own independent way, who cares!? They'll always be room for similar products, song riffs, poems, and the like.

When I was just trying to create a foothold for myself in the world of software, I didn't want to share my insights with others for fear that we would emerge identically skilled. Eventually I realized that at a certain point in your craft, it becomes impossible to evaluate people objectively. At a particular level of expertise, you become a unique flavor that will be loved by some and loathed by others.

With a lot of people we interact with, it's sometimes hard to live this way, and I find myself occasionally overwhelmed and in need of a reminder. For me personally, I need to be alone for a time and critically think out my vision or philosophy in my head. After I've made a decision about how I feel or how I plan on approaching a problem, I just stick to my instincts, ignoring the noise and distractions that make me second guess myself. It's my art after all, and they'll love me or hate me for it either way.